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Hot Personals that Attract Singles

Notice the flair, humor and wit that made these ads so effective. Women responded to these personals because they convey a sense of humor and playful intelligence. I don’t care what you look like, if you can make the right girl laugh and giggle, she’s yours for life.

Create a ‘grabber perk’ headline, simply a single descriptive line that is first read along with your foto designed to attract attention to your ad. Avoid the typical, mundane ‘DWF, 44, seeks nice stable man’….bla bla bla … you and 20 million others fit this description. Humor works wonders. Scan other ads and see which ones attract your attention.
Some Real Kick Ass Grabber Headlines and Personal Ads

The following personals were written by our staff for clients in our matchmaking services. Compare these to

” “DWF, 44, nice body seeks nice stable man for walks on the beach and sunset dinners”

*gag* That’s actually just about 80% of the personal ads that can be found out there. Would you answer that personal ad? Or would the following be more apt to “grab” ya:

Copper maned paradox seeks long locked Poetic Savage
Northern female with right number of arms and legs seeks sensitive, floppy-fringed male for glittery emails and perhaps one of those relationship type of things. Me – geeky, book-lover with a penchant for gherkins who likes proper music, sunny days, playing bass guitar (badly), humorous people and purple. You – whatever…Reply with photo appreciated – not that i judge people on their appearance, oh no, that would be far to shallow of me…

I think that computers only disconnect people
Not really *duh* Submissive male seeks dominant female with extensive knowledge of knots Hideous-looking, obese, smelly, ill-tempered, lazy, cowardly, chronic, and a complete liar seeks total opposite.

SWM into chainsaws and hockey masks seek likeminded SWF.
No weirdos, please. Bitter, unsuccessful middle aged loser wallowing in an unending sea of inert, drooping loneliness looking for 24 year old needy leech-like hanger-on to abuse with dull stories, tired sex and Herb Alpert albums. Baby, you are my Tijuana Taxi.

Woke Up on the Wrong Side Reality
Me — trying to sleep on the bus station bench, pleading with you to give me a cigarette; you-choking on my odor, tripping over your purse trying to get away; at the last moment, our eyes meeting. Yours were blue. Can I have a dollar?

Don’t Piss Me Off and Read this Ad!
Three toed mango peeler searching for wicked crossdressing infielder. Like screaming and marking territory with urine? Let’s make banana enchiladas together in my bathtub. You bring the salsa.

I could probably conform to your standards
Naw. I like eating mayonnaise and peanut butter sandwiches in the rain, watching Barney Miller reruns, peeing on birds in the park and licking strangers on the subway; you eat beets raw, have climbed Kilimanjaro, and sweat freely and often. Must wear size five shoes.

Single Sock Dreams
There is a little place in the jumbled sock drawer of my heart where you match up all the pairs, throw out the ones with holes in them, and buy me some of those neat dressy ones with the weird black and red geometrical designs on them.

Fickle, Whimsical, and a Walking Contradiction
Angry, simple-minded, balding, partially blind ex-circus flipper boy with a passion for covering lovers in sour cream and fish giblet gravy seeks exotic, heavily tattooed piercing fanatic, preferably hairy and stinky, either sex, for whippings, bizarre sex and fashion consulting. No freaks.

Old Coot Falling and he Can’t Keep Up
When I was thirty my dates had to be young, slim, tall, handsome, rich, intelligent. Now I’m 64, they only have to know how to read and use the telephone! If we dont change direction, we may end up where we’re going!

Intelligence is beauty in it’s purest form
Would not mind meeting a woman who knows who she is and where she wants to go in life….not so much in a material sense as in a spiritual sense. She should have her priorities straight and interested in delving into the bigger picture. I’m not so much concerned with appearances as I am with chemistry.After all, intelligence is beauty in it’s purest form in my humble opinion.

Submissive male seeks dominant female with extensive knowledge of knots Hideous-looking, obese, smelly, ill-tempered, lazy, cowardly, chronic, and a complete liar seeks total opposite for skinny skiing and polar ice cap safaris

SWM into chainsaws and hockey masks seek likeminded SWF. No weirdos, please. Bitter, unsuccessful middle aged loser wallowing in an unending sea of inert, drooping loneliness looking for 24 year old needy leech-like hanger-on to abuse with dull stories, tired sex and Herb Alpert albums. Baby, you are my Tijuana Taxi.

Insinuate the positive? well lets start out as friends and bring ourselves to a mental & physical crescendo I desire to meet someone who wants to fly along the edges of life yet is grounded enough to differentiate what is the right or correct path for us to live from that which has to many negative’s to navigate through.

Take me as I am – Meatmarket tested, Mother approved
I have spent much of my adult life living a bit close to the edge. I believe this has taught me lessons that might elude more timid souls.Runway models aren’t my goal but chemistry is essential. I clean up very nicely and seek a woman who enjoys looking good in jeans or an evening dress. She should connect with the basic heights of sensuality. I am passionate so you should expect passion if the chemistry connects. If you are strong and feminine; if you are a young enough spirit to challenge my own spirit of adventure but also an old soul who has collected wisdom to share; if you can look me in the eye and speak your mind (kindly) with the same passion that you speak your love; if you are not a ‘victim’ (compassion is wonderful, seeking pain is not); if you like the open starry sky and soft warm breezes on a summer eve, then we might get along just fine.

Tap Tap Tap – Is thing on?
Well, you’re here, I suppose introductions are in order. Let me tell you a little something about myself. Puppies and little children like me and I would gladly give my life to see this world happy. My name is “you”. The journey begins here…my cyber hand is extended.

Crazy for Love
I am impossible to live with . . . but then isn’t everyone? I will drive you crazy . . . but in the most interesting ways possible. You don’t want to get mixed up with me . . . unless you love to have every one of your certainties challenged and unless you get horny in the face of unimaginable adventures and unless you’re ready to never be bored again.

Raku Ruin
Do you have a dancer’s body, a writer’s mind, an artist’s hands, and an underwear model’s face? You’re probably too slick for me. I’m a down-to-earth magician who loves gritty reality far more than glittery fantasies. Like the skilled Japanese pottery-makers whose work is valued for its trademark blemishes, I thrive on life’s imperfections. I’ll love you for who you are, not who you might be someday.

No. 9
My astrologer has informed me that the gods have finally lifted the hex that’s kept me from giving and getting all the love I deserve. My karmic debts are all paid up, at least the romantic ones! So what do you say we celebrate? I’m no expert at guiltless fun, but I’m willing to learn at the hands of a master. If you smell good and know how to make love with your mind as well as your body, that’s the only love spell I need.

Gemini Juggler
Are you a liberal or conservative? A laugher or cryer? A licker or biter? I’m both. Always both and yet neither. I’m an atheistic lover of many gods. . . a sophisticate with toys in my bathtub . . . a genuine evil twin who loves to perform missions of mercy. Honey, I always prefer paper and plastic. In fact, there are so many sides to me that I often find I’m beside myself. Think you can handle having five lovers in one? Being monogamous with me is just like being totally promiscuous.

Zodiac Killer
We Virgos rarely brag–except when there’s something we want. And I want you. So I’m going to tell you what my astrologer said, which is that we Virgos are the smartest lovers and sexiest geniuses in the entire zodiac. Now tell me about yourself. Are you a frequent bather with strawberry breath and jet pilot’s eyes? Are you equally at home in silk and grunge, equally knowledgeable about El Greco and L7? Do you have a slow hand but fast fingers? Know lots of short cuts but have a long attention span? Then get over here now. I want to bite you with my wit

Power Play
I’ve got the heart of a mountain-climber and the mind of an entrepreneur. You’re a timeless beauty who thinks the most fun thing that two people can have together is to build things from the ground up. How about it: Want to work and play together? Want to share the spiritual joys of powerwalking, powershopping and powermongering? Let’s gaze at the bottom line by day and oil up each other’s charisma by night. Please: no dice-rollers, white liars, or compulsive jaywalkers. Must be willing to lose at chess.

Jungle Love, Welcome Baybee!
Tasmanian devil seeks sleek fox or wily coyote for interspecies communion. It’s a jungle out there, baybee. But I know some great trails, and I ain’t afraid of the deep, dark stuff. Put your little paw in mine and together we’ll wade the creeks and scale the cliffs amidst swinging on the vines of destiny. Are you ready to have even more fun than merely being in love? Two grunts mean “yes, dear.” Two grunts and a howl mean “yes, dear, NOW!” *Schwing*

Mushy unskilled closet Poet seeks inspiration
I have dreamed of you so much that you are no longer real. Is there still time for me to reach your breathing body, to kiss your mouth and make your dear voice come alive again? I have dreamed of you so much that my arms, grown used to being crossed on my chest as I hugged your shadow, would perhaps not bend to the shape of your body. For faced with the real form of what has haunted me and governed me for so many days and years, I would surely become a shadow.

A classic Sag, born in a pig year, I am happy to be me

and this site IS ‘under construction’ each and every day. Happiness is being in the moment, and having health, peace of mind and love. Breathing is very, very good, so are flexibility and movement. Joy is found everywhere…in family, friends, work, and play; snowflakes, clouds and mountains; bears, birds, trees and flowers; really fine Belgian truffles and an occassional black lager. Ecstacy will be connecting and becoming one with you.
You Get the Basic Idea, Right?

Just tell about yourself in the most creative, witty way you know how. You’ll be amazed at what you can come up with if you only take the time. But you’ll really be amazed at the response! Good luck, and get dating!

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